I am scared to tell my partner about my kinks….

We all have things that we like in the bedroom some are standard and some are a little bit different. Whatever your sexual preferences are they are not something to be ashamed of. Sexual preferences are often an outlet for us or a way that we deal with inner pain or stress. Our kinks or sexual desires are something to be understood. Understanding promotes growth. We often incorrectly believe sexual preferences are ingrained in us, this is not true! As a sadist for many years I believed that was just me however once I healed and released the inner pain that I held, these tendencies vanished!

If you are in a situation where you would like to explore your sexual preferences with your partner but you are scared of his or her reaction you need to ask yourself why? How do you feel about your kinks? If they are something you are not completely happy with how can you expect your partner to be. This is why its important to embrace your kinks! If you do not want to embrace your kink as it makes you feel bad or dirty afterwards then this is something you need to address and I wouldn’t recommend doing with your partner. Talking about it with your partner is a different thing! Communication is key within in a relationship and if you don’t feel happy to express your needs and desires with your partner you have an issue! You must then consider why is communicating an issue? Do you struggle to find the words, scared of the reaction you will receive or both?

Too often people are to ashamed or embarrassed to explore their kinks with their partner and then they go down the route of using other women to do this. This then causes guilt and more shame around sexual desire. It can some times have the opposite effect and people find themselves getting off on the secrecy which then adds to the high or having their sexual needs met by someone else. The guilt then comes at a later stage and some people then find themselves caught in a never ending of cycle.

If you have never broached the subject with your partner how do you know they aren’t into it to? How do you know they don’t have their own areas they would like to explore? What we hide from consumes us so instead of hiding from these desires face them head on and talk about it!

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